Exchanging Christmas gifts with family
Right now this is the topic everyone wants to ask me about. The holidays will be here soon and people are already anxious about gift-giving. Many remember last year, and how gift-giving and receiving detracted from the joy of the holiday itself. Some were overwhelmed by the number of gifts they received. Others were made to feel less than because they misunderstood the dollar amount expectations of their purchases.
Here’s why people are feeling this way.
53% of Americans admit to opening up at least one unwanted holiday gift each year.
46% of Americans are still paying off debt from last holiday season.
34%of Americans went into debt last year carrying an average of $1,028.
What if you did something different this year? Here are a few ways to talk to your family about simplifying the holidays.
Set the Table For The Conversation
For years, my husband and I have discussed difficult topics in the car. We would tell each other ahead of time, I have something I want to discuss during our drive this weekend. It always helped to set the table for the conversation.
Discuss gift giving with your spouse first. Determine your holiday budget including gift giving, travel, and entertainment. Make a plan for your immediate family and get on the same page with your spouse or partner before you discuss with your extended family.
Before Thanksgiving, schedule a time with your extended family to discuss the holidays. Start by talking about all the fun traditions you enjoy at Christmas. Whether it is cooking together or doing karaoke, remind them of the fun you had last year and suggest you do it again. Then, you can broach the conversation of gifts.
Be curious and ask questions. Does everyone want to exchange gifts? What kind of budget makes sense this year? If you have a budget, make it known that you love your family but you have a holiday budget. Ask them to respect your budget and know that others will likely be thankful that you brought up the conversation. Remember what you can afford and your budget are not the same. You will encounter people who disagree with how you budget your money. But it’s still your money.
Provide Specific Gift Ideas
Once you’ve established the budget and everyone is on the same page about the gift giving plans, ask for lists of gift ideas. This will allow your family to suggest useful and specific items that won’t become clutter in your home. Include consumable items so others understand your desire to simplify gift-giving. Ensure the items are under budget to reinforce this understanding.
Offer Gift Giving Alternatives
Studies show that experience gifts are remembered longer than physical gifts and create a deeper level of satisfaction with the gift. They even strengthen the relationship with the gift giver. Children and adults are far more likely to remember a shared experience gift than any physical gift.
A Stanford study reports, “Things accumulate in physical space and must eventually be disposed of,” says Steven Crane, MS in Community Health and research scholar at Stanford’s Behavior Design Lab. “Experiences only accumulate in our memories, our digital photo albums, and ideally in the shared history we build with important people in our lives. They represent a great opportunity to share an experience or adventure with our friends and family.”
When discussing Christmas gifts, suggest that instead of gift giving you enjoy a shared experience together such as a holiday show, movie, or ice skating and dinner out. For larger budgets, you could plan a trip together. Years ago, we switched from physical gifts to a shared trip with another family and my son looks forward to it every year. No matter when we take the trip.
Remember, change takes time. Be patient with family members who resist. Respect the joy they get from gift giving but be firm about your family budget. Start by setting the table for the conversation. They might surprise you how receptive they are to simplifying gift giving. And they’ll appreciate that you’re helping them save money too.