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Spouses who don’t ask one question — “your 401(k) or mine?” — could be losing out on retirement money, research finds.
By failing to allocate retirement savings to the spouse with the employer that provides the highest match rate, couples may be leaving money on the table, according to 2025 research published in the American Economic Review.
By switching retirement contributions to the account with the higher match rate, 1 in 5 couples could increase their savings by an estimated $750 per year, note the research authors: Taha Choukhmane, assistant professor of finance at MIT Sloan School of Management; Lucas Goodman, an economist at the Treasury Department; and Cormac O’Dea, assistant professor of economics at Yale University.
By not focusing on the highest match, couples may sacrifice an average of $14,000 in retirement wealth over their lifetime, which may climb to as high as $40,000 in additional wealth at retirement for 10% of couples, according to the research.
“The absence of coordination can be a choice, but it’s a costly choice,” Choukhmane said.
Couples who don’t sit down and talk about their finances are likely missing gaps like this that they could address, said Kate Winget, chief revenue officer at Morgan Stanley at Work, a provider of equity compensation plans for public and private companies.
Which couples tend to coordinate best
Choukmane said the research aims to gauge whether couples coordinate their finances as a household or instead manage their money individually.
In the latter case, a couple is like roommates living under the same roof, yet make their financial decisions independently, prioritizing each individual, he said. In the former, couples coordinate household financial decision-making so they optimize their decisions together, Choukmane said.
Retirement plans are one example, but there are many other opportunities for couples to coordinate their financial decisions and, therefore, realize financial gains, he said.
Another example: One spouse may have credit card debt with annual interest rates ranging from 20% to 30%, while the other spouse has cash sitting in a checking account earning nothing, Choukmane said.
“They could save a lot of money by moving money from the checking account to repay the credit card,” Choukmane said. “But that requires a certain level of trust, of coordination, of agreeing on things, of giving up some independence.”
Couples who tend to do a better job at coordinating their finances often have been married for longer and shared a bank account before getting married, according to Choukmane.
How setting money dates can help
Couples who regularly set money dates to check in on their financial and relationship status have the best chance of not missing coordination opportunities, Winget said.
That applies particularly to workplace benefits, including 401(k) or other retirement plans, and also emergency savings programs or employee stock purchase plans that employers may offer, she said.
By sitting down two times a year or even quarterly, couples have a better chance of identifying time windows when they may be able to apply for certain benefits or increase their contribution amounts, Winget said.
Certain milestones like a new job or the birth of a child may also trigger the need for a money conversation, Winget said.
“Are you both on the same page for the future?” she said. “Are you both aligned on what’s happening with the contributions that you’re making, and are these numbers adding up to what your goals and objectives are?”