Most married couples would likely agree that estate planning is not the most romantic subject for them to discuss. But estate planning is one of the most crucial topics for married couples to discuss. An estate plan is a group of critical documents that outline an individual’s end-of-life wishes in case they become ill or incapacitated.
When an individual gets married, their legal and financial status changes. The individual will likely begin joint income tax filings with their spouse, obtain with their spouse shared financial assets including bank and brokerage accounts, and purchase real estate together. This means that an estate plan must reflect a couple’s established and hopefully lifetime relationship.
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Estate planning is crucial for all married couples, no matter how long they have been married. It makes no difference whether a couple are newlyweds or have been married for years. It is essential for the couple to have an estate plan and to keep the plan updated as their circumstances change. Preparing the proper documents as part of an estate plan not only controls the couple’s personal affairs, but the documents help the couple prepare for the future. By meticulously detailing all of the decisions ahead of time, a married couple can reduce the emotional stress of a sudden and unexpected life event, such as illness and accidents.
Without a proper and valid estate plan, a married couple will have to follow the default rules in their resident state regarding their estate, healthcare, finances, and their minor children’s care. For example, part of an estate plan is having a valid will. Without a valid will, a deceased couple’s estate will be considered intestate. Dying intestate means that the distribution of a couple’s estate will follow default state laws, and possibly not the way the couple wants to distribute their assets. A couple with minor children and without a proper and valid estate plan could end up having their minor children’s care chosen by the couple’s state when both parents are deceased.
Important estate planning topics that married couples should discuss
Married federal employees and retirees who are in the initial stage of developing an estate plan should understand that one of the biggest components of estate planning for married couples is making decisions together. Spouses who are in the initial states of developing their estate plan are advised to ask each other the following types of questions:
1. Who will manage our finances in the event we are both incapacitated?
2. Do we want to have life-saving interventions in a medical emergency?
3. What kind of treatments do we want if we become incapacitated or fall ill?
4. How do we want to distribute our personal property?
5. Do we want to jointly own particular property and assets in order to make a smoother transfer to the surviving spouse?
6. Who will be the executor of our estate when we both pass away?
7. Who will be guardians of our minor children?
Once a married couple has answered these and other related questions regarding their estate, the couple should be able to start the process of preparing their estate plan.
Estate planning documents each spouse should have
An essential part of a proper estate plan is the preparation of multiple key documents. The following are estate planning documents that both spouses should have as part of their estate plan:
1. Last Will and Testament. Each spouse will need a Last Will and Testament to document how they want their assets and property to be distributed when the spouse passes away. Part of the will is naming an executor to manage the spouse’s estate. To further assist and facilitate the distribution of a spouse’s estate, each spouse should create an inventory of jointly owned property and individually owned property and assets. This includes bank accounts, properties, stocks, bonds and other investments. Also, for couples with minor children, a will should contain the name of individuals who will be the legal guardian(s) of minor children in the event something happens to both parents.
2. Health Care Directive. A health care directive provides guidance on an individual’s choices regarding medical treatments. It also appoints an agent to oversee the individual’s care. Although married couples are normally the agent appointee for the other spouse, it is a good idea for married couples to name a contingent agent in case the other spouse is incapacitated or cannot be located.
3. Living Will. A living will is a document that outlines an individual’s preferences for medical care if the individual becomes incapacitate and unable to communicate his or her medical wishes. The living will is used particularly for end-of-life decisions.
4. Financial Power of Attorney. The financial power of attorney allows an individual to appoint an agent to manage the individual’s finances, real estate, and any other financially oriented affairs if the individual is unable to do so. The financial power of attorney can also be useful when an individual plans to be away (particularly out of the country) for extended periods of time or when the individual becomes incapacitated. Like the health care directive, the agent appointed for the financial power of attorney will most likely be the other spouse. But married couples are advised to appoint a contingent agent for the financial power of attorney in case the other spouse is incapacitated or cannot be located.
5. End-of-Life Plan. An end-of-life plan outlines an individual’s requests regarding the type of funeral they want (formal service or graveside ceremony and where to be buried), whether they want to be cremated, passages to be read at the funeral, preferred charities for donations and organ donations.
6. Designations of beneficiaries. For financial assets such as retirement accounts, life insurance policies, bank accounts and brokerage accounts, it is essential for individuals to designate beneficiaries. By designating primary beneficiaries and contingent beneficiaries (all of which are up to date), the individual will allow these financial assets to pass directly to the people the individual chooses without going through probate. Probate would occur if these assets were included in a Will.
7. Plan for digital assets. Many married couples manage their significant assets online, from social media profiles to digital bank and brokerage accounts, and perhaps cryptocurrency. It is important for both spouses to include instructions as part of their estate plan on how to access, manage and distribute these digital assets. Part of the instructions for accessing digital assets should be where to find a list of passwords.
8. If applicable, consider a “pet” trust. For married couples who own pets (such as a cat, a dog or a bird), it is important to include their pets as part of the couple’s estate plan. A “pet” trust can ensure that the couple’s pets are cared for and that funds will be available for the pets’ ongoing needs in the event that both spouses are incapacitated or deceased.
9. Titles and property deeds. A married couple should gather the titles and deeds for couple’s personal residence, vehicles and other real estate, that is, confirming the listed owners are correct.
Property types married couples should consider
As part of their estate plan a married couple should consider the types of property ownership, including:
• Separate property which are assets that each spouse owns individually. For example, cars, real estate, personal bank accounts and brokerage accounts can be owned as separate property by each spouse. These assets will be distributed through a spouse’s will or a living trust or gifted to a relative through a Gift Deed.
• Marital property, also known as “shared” property, is generally the property that is acquired during a marriage, either through gifts or purchases. Property that a married couple acquired together before marriage may also be considered martial property. Marital property includes items such as a personal residence purchased together, joint bank and brokerage accounts, and jointly purchased personal property.
Note that some states are considered community property states. In these states, anything acquired during a marriage, for example – real estate, bank and brokerage accounts and debts – is automatically divided equally between spouses. It makes no difference which spouse earns or spends these assets. Community property laws require that marital assets go to the surviving spouse before a couple’s children, or anyone else the deceased spouse wishes to inherit from the deceased spouse’s estate.
The community property states are Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin.
Estate tax planning for married couples
The federal government imposes a federal estate tax on the transfer of assets once an individual passes away. During 2025, the IRS imposes a federal estate tax on individuals who own assets with a fair market value of $13.99 million or more at their death. There are 12 states and the District of Columbia that impose state estate tax on individuals who own assets with a much smaller fair market value, for example – Oregon which imposes a state estate tax on state residents who die during 2025 and who at the time of death own assets with a fair market value of $1 million or more.
Assets included in the determination of the federal or state estate tax liability include: (1) Real estate; (2) Personal property; (3) Interest in life insurance policies; (4) 401(k), TSP and IRAs, including Roth accounts; (5) Stocks, bonds mutual funds and other investment assets; and (6) Cash.
Married couples may be able to utilize a federal estate tax marital deduction to transfer assets and property to a surviving spouse without having to pay any federal estate tax. Federal and state taxes are complex and can vary greatly depending on a married couple’s circumstances. Married couples who think that they may be subject to federal and/or state estate taxes are advised to seek advice from a qualified tax accountant or estate attorney.
Keeping an estate plan up to date
A married couple is advised to keep their estate plan up to date with each new life event. New children, purchasing property, death of close relatives, and significant increases in the value of financial assets (such as cash, stocks and bonds) are just a few of the changes in a married couple’s life. As a married couple continues to live together, one or both spouses may wish to change his or her medical choices or need to assign new alternate guardians, agents, and executors.
It is also important for married couples to keep all of their estate planning documents safe and available for each spouse, executor, close family members such as adult children and agents.
Estate planning for married couples can be a challenging and complex process. Married federal employees and retirees are therefore advised to seek professional assistance when developing their estate plan. An estate planning attorney located in the state a married federal employee or retiree are legal residents can help navigate the legal landscape and develop an estate plan tailored to the married couple’s specific needs.